Pain and a Bike Ride: Choosing Different

Recently I told someone, “You don’t get different results if you don’t do something different.” I always teach that which I most need to learn.

Trite. Easy words to say, hard to do. Especially when I’m comfortable.

My life is very good. I have a supportive marriage and family. I am strong in my faith. My business is of my creating and I do what I love. I am extremely grateful.

In the midst of this gratitude for what I have:  I desire change.

I stretched myself this morning. I chose to ride my bike to the office.

Yes, it took me a while. I feel out of shape. There are aches and pains my body has. My monkey mind sure was screaming at me; mainly yelling “You have so much work to do Jessica – get to the office faster so you can get going on it!” and “You’re probably going to need your car, Jessica.” and “How are you going to carry all the stuff you need at the office?”

On the route, my monkey mind screamed, “Are you crazy, this is going to take you forever to get to the office. You’ll never make it. This hill is so hard. Your butt is so big. Your knee hurts. Turn around. Go back.”

I told my Monkey Mind – “Suck It.”

My pattern is: I put my needs for centered, meditative time to move my physical self to the side while I do all kinds of other stuff.

Right now, that other stuff is:

*drip launch the new business – writing curriculum, promoting workshops, and marketing and sales.
*maintain my current client projects.
*talk with prospects to fill my pipeline.
*develop center of influence relationships for the new business.

This pattern sucks me in every time.  I am my highest critic.  I set super high goals for myself and have high expectations. And, as I’ve been told, I don’t cut myself much slack. I can hear some loved ones right now about to give me crap for jumping in with both feet to some projects and having high expectations.  To my two beloveds, I say, “Thank you for loving me.”

The bike ride didn’t hurt physically (much). It did remind me of how disconnected I have been from my physical and emotional self.

The bike ride did give me time to let my mind wander. To avoid writing the lists I am so fond of writing, to listen to my highest self.

I don’t know if I’ll ride my bike to the office again tomorrow. We’ll see what happens in the morning.

I do know I feel hugely successful for making a different choice today.

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Paul and Me: A lesson in Grace

As some of you know, I’m a lector* at my church. Each time I read, it’s a blessing. This week is a heavier connection than most for me.

I’m reading 2 Corinthians 12: 7-10, part of Paul’s letter to the Corinthians. Ahh, Me and Paul**. We have this [insert choice potty mouth word here] relationship. I think he’s a giant hypocritical twit who writes in run on sentences. He doesn’t really think that much about me. God, on the other hand, I’m sure thinks Paul and I have a whole lot in common.

When I read the entirety of Paul’s letters, I see Paul’s humanity and his divinity. I see where he’s trapped. It’s tough for him, feeling and owning the sincere love of God in his soul, and also living as a human; being pulled in hundreds of directions; seeing the destruction of communities with hate and pain all around him; aspiring to Love at all times and flailing with his Judgy-McJudgerson ego.

This week, in this letter, Paul begs for relief from this duality and hears God’s words: “My grace is sufficient for you, for power is made perfect in weakness.”  In other words: Suck it up, big fella. You got me and I got you. Quit your whining and embrace your faults, learn from them, release them.

Where do I begin to say how much I identify with Paul. My ego gets in my way when I work, when I pray, when I live. I’ve taken to wearing my watch on my right hand (an uncomfortable location for me) to ever remind me to love myself and love others; especially when I feel frustrated with clients/friends/family who aren’t “getting it”.  (Because it’s easy to love in the silence of my room in the morning, when I’m feeling attacked or getting push-back for the counsel I give my clients, it’s harder.) My daily prayer is to love. When I see the news of such hatred, bigotry, frustration, anger, sadness, I feel powerless to do anything about it.  I judge others for acting so mean and hurtful. I judge myself, harshly, for not doing enough. We are all one.

I’m with you, Paul, in my prayer for God to remove this duality from me. To give me peace so I release the judgement and only see love. To help me embrace what I perceive as my imperfections, my shortcomings, my weaknesses as an opportunity to grow and learn.

And God’s answer to me? Here, Jessica, go read this passage at church on Sunday. Go be a channel for my words with Paul:  “My grace is sufficient for you, for power is made perfect in weakness.”

In my prayers, spoken and unspoken, I pray for grace and peace; that I may in my small ways have a ripple effect upon my community and my country. May I love and engage others. May I, by my actions, show others there is a way for us to live in our duality of humanity and divinity IN LOVE.

I felt compelled to write this today because I struggle seeing news of my brothers and sisters being hurt, inequality based on skin color, worship style, whom they love.  I trust I act as a channel for Love (with a capital L).

If you want to hear me read on Sunday, I’ll be at St. Francis Parish 7:30am mass in Sacramento. And frankly, I promise to do my best to keep it together and be a strong channel during this reading. I’m already feeling the universal energy of love coursing through my body.  Pray for me.

Peace to you in the magic of the internet.

*For non-Catholic Christians, that means I read one of the bible passages during the ceremony/ritual on Sunday.

** Paul wrote a bunch of letters to different groups (aka Letter to the Corinthians etc.)


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Fear, the Jackass, and Refried Beans

One of the most important things I learned about being in business is that many people are afraid.

And when we’re afraid, either that we missed something, or that we’re not liked, or we aren’t sure of what we’re doing, then we make some pretty interesting decisions:

  • not answering the phone
  • arguing with people
  • taking a “stance”
  • “going on the offensive”
  • ignoring emails/texts/queries for information

The flip side: when we encounter someone coming from a fear space we react… we re-act… did you see that? We act it again.  So their fear becomes our refried fear. Think refried beans; all mushy, gooey and when cold, kind of gross.

When I’m selling my stuff to you, coming from a place of fear just won’t work, because you, my prospect, is gonna flip that fear over, re-fry it and ship it right back to me. And then we’re both jackasses serving up refried fear to one another.

How do we then get out of the re-fried fear business?

Take a breath. Really, take one. One big belly breath from your toes. While you do that, think, what am I pushing out to people?  What do I WANT to push out to people?

Take a look at your actions and your prospects actions. What are they refrying for you?

Today I was a jackass. I pushed some fear out to someone and I got it served right back at me in the form of ignored emails, texts and phone messages. 

Next time, I push out faith and trust to this guy. We both need it.


Jessica Clark is a process management consultant and the founder of She works with entrepreneurs to get their behind the scenes business processes running efficiently so employers have more room to breathe.




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Powerlessness and Graceful Receiving

I’ve always had a “problem” with “admitting I am powerless.”  

If you’ve ever been around any 12 step program, or related to someone in a 12 step program, admitting you are “powerless” is a biggie of the 12 step process.  For me, the thought of being a divine child of God and saying I am powerless just never ever jived for me. It has seemed, like many intentions, a great thought by Bill W so many years ago to get ego out of the way, yet has been turned into an excuse by many for inaction/lack of responsibility for one’s self.

Let Go, Let God.  Surrender.  Still sounds like excuses for avoidance of going deep within to see the ugly truth we’re afraid of. And I’m willing to go deep within.

Words are powerful. If I say I’m powerless, then what does that say about my belief in my Divine self? What does that say about my deepest truest knowledge that I co-create with Divinity? Clearly I believe there is a higher frequency at work here in my life: I play a part in creation of my path, and thus have some place and “power” in the relationship, I also have a partner in Source/Spirit/Unseen Energy which meets me half way.

Which leads me to the notion of “fair” and meeting half way. I had always thought being in relationship with Source/Divine meant co-creation was a 50/50 equal energy exchange at all times. Culturally, I have been taught to give. What did I learn about receiving? 

In the reading for church I’ll proclaim this coming Sunday morning, I’m sharing from Paul telling the Corinthians that God’s grace is sufficient for me, for “power is made perfect in weakness”. Paul goes on to say: “therefore I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and constraints, for the sake of Christ; for when I am weak, then I am strong.”  Aside: bless Paul and is little bare feet for his humanity.

This morning in my Daily Word, the words of the day are: Let Go, Let God (got the attention of my inner cynic.) In the reading it says: Letting go and letting God is not an abdicating my free will. It is an act of faith. I use my free will to align with Divine Will, which is always for my highest good.


Connecting the dots, here’s my revelation:

What I’ve been creating in my life over the past several months are the perfect conditions to learn how to receive!

I have manifested weaknesses and hardships, persecutions and constraints for the sake of the Greater Higher teaching me to ask for help and gracefully accept and receive it. I see now it’s an ebb and a flow: When it’s time for Source/Spirit to give more than 50%, it’s time for me to sit down and receive. Receiving gracefully means I awareness of Spirit in my life in all its forms: friends, family, landlords, credit card companies, furry pets, clients. 

I understand my power (not powerlessness) and it’s the power of graceful receiving.



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The Permanence of Impermanence – managing change

I’m floating in the ocean of possibility. It’s a fairly huge ocean and yet everyone of us is born with a rudder to guide us to the places of joy and fulfillment. 

What happens when I deliberately pull up my rudder and float? Can I even do that? Is it even possible to remove my cultural pulls and learned behaviours to the point where I can truly float along, doing things that take my fancy, with joy, abandon and no care for where I end up?

This month, I’m transitioning into a new decade of aliveness on the Big Blue Ball. What did I do/achieve in the last decade? Tough to put my finger on and even if I did, who’s measuring?  What did I learn in the last 10 years? A lot. I learned:

  • There are angels who help lift pianos.
  • I take great delight in learning.
  • Lists make me happy.
  • Most of what my Grandma taught me was good stuff.
  • Move it or lose it; no matter how little you move it, all that matters is that you’re moving.
  • It’s okay to recycle half dying plants to the earth. Sometimes you just gotta start over.
  • Asking improves my probability of an answer from 100% No to 50% Yes.
  • I like to measure stuff.
  • Each day is practice for the next.

As I float into the next decade, I’m pretty excited at the possibility. I’m doing my best at keeping my self-sabotage and self-criticism in check.

We’ll see how it goes from here on out and the stuff I learn in the next decade.





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A line in the sand

I have this 3×5 card which says on it:

Make the Decision

Move Forward in Faith and Confidence

We’re all making decisions every single day. Some with a big impact, some with a small impact.  All of them with consequences.

Sharing with a mentee of mine yesterday about how I came to create and carry this card reminded me of the power in a decision. The power of yes or no. The power of this way or that.

So many trite notes have been written about sitting on a fence and how indecision is painful.

Yeah, that’s all true.  Even my little 3×5 card is trite. It works for me though.

Until you, me, we re-cognize how powerful we are, we continue to be sucked into the indecision and fear of “missing out” or “making the ‘wrong’ choice” or [instert your fear story here].  Until you, me, we re-cognize that no matter which answer, which way, which choice we make, we are always loved and every choice is the perfect one for us, indecision reigns. Whatever we manifest here and now, serves us to progress, to change, to grow.

I dare myself, and you in the process, to draw a line in the sand and decide what to do, who to be, where to go, and what I’m willing to accept or compromise on in my life leaving judgement to the side.  



p.s. the reason I hyphenate my words like re-member and re-cognize is to draw attention to the word itself. We are cognizing (cognitive about it) again. We are membering ourselves (to something) again. Language is a beautiful mirror when we see it as that.

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The desperate need to categorize?

What is it with our desperate need to categorize ourselves?

More and more these days, I hear people talking about systems. Systems to lose weight, systems to build a business, systems for farting into a container. Hey I talk about building systems myself! I’m all for systems! I think doing something consistently is the path to success. I see, though, as a way to fit into someone else’s system, I observe a completely vacuous need to put ourselves in categories. What purpose does categorizing myself serve before building my personal or professional system?

Why do I need to know what Myers Briggs type I am before creating sacred rituals to help me work? Why is is valuable to know I have a certain blood type before I start a eating plan? What is the purpose of categorizing prospects before really getting to know them?

Back in December, I pulled an article with a quiz out of a magazine because I thought, “hey, that’s a cool little quiz!” As I came across it again in my ‘pile of cool stuf to look at” I got to actually ‘thinking” about it. (photos below.)

An Organizing Quiz

We are, as human beings, ever evolving and ever changing. We are always on a broad spectrum of “type” and are not one or the other, but we have aspects of all of these types in us.

Results of Organizing Quiz

So while this short categorizing quiz gives us a really easy lexicon with which we can describe ourselves, there is just so much more to us than just The Artist, or The School teacher. We are all of these things. What does it serve to categorize ourselves as one or the other?

Then I saw it:

In the byline at the bottom, after saying the woman who created this quiz is the founder of blah-blah and author of blah-blah, it specifically says, “Her goal is to resonate with the “C’s” in this quiz, although she admits to several “D” answers.”

In the fine print we see the motive behind the quiz – to meet prospects.

Do you think that skews the quiz itself? Do you think ‘regular’ folk know this quiz is about marketing? Now that you know, how does it impact you and the way you see yourself?

This topic of categorizing is taking up some of my brain space, so I’m sure it’s going to show up again and again until it doesn’t anymore.


p.s. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know, “everything is a projection”.

p.p.s. I can’t remember from which magazine I tore this. I severely cropped the photo of the quiz pages so there could be no pilfering of this business woman’s intellectual property. She put some serious time and effort into crafting that quiz to help her build her business and got it into a major national magazine. I admire her and applaud her.  Please don’t steal her stuff. Yes, that is a cover my ass statement.

See the full gallery on Posterous


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Throw the to-do list out the window

Yeah, you got a million things to do. Me too.

Sometimes you gotta throw the to-do list out of the window and say fu*k it.

Lighten up, there muffin. There is a pile of sunshine outside waiting for you to breathe it in.

The list will be here when you get back.

If you just can tear yourself awway from the laptop… at least watch some Jack Black and Cee Lo Green.

Love you, love your show…


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Business to the Beat of your Own Drum

I am frequently reminded that it’s more than important, it’s VITAL (and cool) to do business my way with my style.  Yeah, I emulate some interesting peeps in the world and see what they’re doing. I don’t do it their way, though. Because I don’t want what they want. I want what I want.

I get my tangible reminder every morning to keep beating my own drum at my local crack, uh, I mean caffeine, provider. Almost every day, I see a skinny white guy with dredlocks, scruffy beard and tivo sandals whip out a brand new macbook pro and iphone. By the outside appearance he is bohemian, floating, peaceful.  The zippy new technology seems almost contrary to his outword appearance. Of course, that’s my judgement talking.

No clue what he does except he does it to the beat of his own drum. And that’s inspiring.

So yeah, when I speak to a group of professionals, I’ll put on the appropriate clothing so *they* feel comfortable and can hear my content instead of wondering why this gal showed up in flip-flops, jeans and a shirt.  Though on the inside, you bet I’m in flop flops.

Next time I see that dude in the coffee joint, I’m gonna get a pic with him and make friends. He’s my new hero.


p.s. if you haven’t already done it, please go check out my new website:


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Into a box, or not.

In the last few weeks, I’ve been refining, improving and receiving. Something very very big is brewing. It’s way bigger than the recent stuff I’ve been working on. 

My most recent exploration is how to talk about the expanse and depth of the work I do on this earth. How do I name it so people can engage with me in it?

Feels like I’m squeezing myself into a a size 5 when I’m a size 8.5. Not really working too well.

For now, rather than shoe horn myself into something that is so limiting, I’m gonna hang with big concepts. 

  • Convene
  • Connect
  • Inspire
  • Plant Seeds
  • Mentor
  • Consult
  • Listen
  • Explore
  • Capture
  • Service

I’ve started placing some of these concepts in context over at  Like trying on some new clothes a few outfits at a time, we’ll see how they fit.  I’d love your input.

Onward the journey.


p.s. my dear friend Dusty Bell commented on my request for how people describes me with, “you can’t put Jessica in a box!”  Wise words.

p.p.s. my horoscope for this week from Rob Brezsny.  Tres interesant, no? 

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): In his book *The Four Insights,* author Alberto
Villoldo tells the following story: “A traveler comes across two
stonecutters. He asks the first, ‘What are you doing?’ and receives the
reply, ‘Squaring the stone.’ He then walks over to the second stonecutter
and asks, ‘What are you doing?’ and receives the reply, ‘I am building a
cathedral.’ In other words, both men are performing the same task, but
one of them is aware that he has the choice to be part of a greater
dream.” By my astrological reckoning, Leo, it’s quite important for you to
be like that second stonecutter in the months ahead. I suggest you start
now to ensure that outcome.

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